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Eat My Fornicate
Eat My Fornicate is a loyal follower of Def. Although he may seem mindless at times, he does show some contempt toward the Ward Webmaster. He usually can tell when a plan will fail and covers his own ass when everything goes South. His most common scapegoat is to blame Def for everything that goes wrong. But when things go right, he’s one of the first to step up and claim that it was his idea all along. Ethan is the failed abortion of a Ponzi scheme conman and a $2 crackwhore. He is currently single and looking. __TOC__ Early Years Little to nothing is known about Ethan's childhood. His mother was a drug addict who got pregnant by a con artist who ran several fraudulent investment operations before being put in prison. By the time he is an adult, Ethan has learned how to run scams of his own by studying his father's techniques. ''The Raunch and the Righteous: Devil May Strip'' By his mid 40s, Ethan is a failed con artist living with his roommate Gene Sliverstein. He and gene owe money to the Genovese brothers and Ethan comes up with the idea of running a hedge fund scam to pay them back. When the scam goes sour and Ethan is busted by Cankerton Police, he blames the whole thing on Def. Ethan is later let out of jail to help Officer MeGusta with an investigation into Colonel Fishmeal's company Murk Liquid. Ethan was once a smart, peppy, wisecracking flunky. That all ended when Def took on his satyr form and scared Ethan so badly, that all of the zeal and enthusiasm left his body. Ethan took on the name "Eat My Fornicate" after it was said to Def as an insult for turning Ethan into an unenthusiastic jerk. ''Bishops of Bastard Beginnings'' Eat My Fornicate blindly follows Def along with Robucket. While in the employ of Dr. Fap, Eat and the others carry out inane missions to bring down the Holy Father Church. At one point, his only earthly desire was to steal Lady Sadie's car so that he could cut out the cushion of the driver's seat in an attempt to bottle of the scent of her "divine derriere ." ''Bishops of Bastard NSFW'' Eat's obsessions and fetishes became more and more perverted as time went on. He once tried to impregnate Sadie when Def took her captive, only to get her knee in his groin for his trouble. As Def became more eager to bring down Masked Bastard, his methods became more dangerous. Eat's pitiful life apparently ended in a car crash when Def's sports car was hit head-on by an 18-wheeler driven by Masked Bastard. Although Def survived the crash, Eat's body was immolated when the gas tank explodes. Def views Eat's death as a sacrifice to his father, Dagon. Favorite Things Green sweaters, blue pants, playing with himself Hobbies Touching Def while Def is asleep, watching porn Category:Bishops of Bastard characters